In an earlier post here I introduced the first two of six key conversations for a successful college admissions process. Part 2 covers the third and fourth conversation categories critical for a not just surviving, but thriving through the college admissions process.
Key Conversation #3: Expectations during the college admissions process...for both teen and parent
(1) Discuss the big picture
- the mindset that the college admissions process is a marathon, not a sprint
- the importance of regular check-ins and taking consistent steps, even small ones
- define and discuss what each (parent and teen) wants at the end, not only regarding a college choice, but also about what kind of relationship you want to have with each other
(2) Teen responsibilities
- take initiative and lead the process, but ask for feedback and don't be afraid to ask for help
- find ways to stay organized, or ask for help
- keep track of deadlines and don’t procrastinate...LOL; most parents (guilty) have difficulty with this one, but spelling it out puts the accountability where it should be
- be engaged and accountable, this is YOUR future, and your parents want the best for you
- listen...be open to feedback and other ideas and allow time to process, but ultimately be secure in who you are and what you want
- hope for the best, but anticipate and work to accept disappointment
(3) Parent responsibilities
- LISTEN...even with the best of intentions it's difficult to allow our children to articulate and own their choices without stepping in with our opinions
- allow teen to lead the process and develop his/her own voice
- assist with organization
- review their college list regularly and ask questions, particularly "why" questions
Key Conversation #4: The importance of self-care
(1) For both teen and parent...as individuals and for the relationship
- acknowledge your own and each other's stress level, currently and throughout process
- find the most effective way/s to deal with individual stress
- spend time alone
- do something fun or silly
- listen to music or make a new playlist
- travel (post pandemic when feasible)
- meditate
- evaluate and address current level and set the bar a little bit higher each day or week
- work on creating the exercise habit if not present currently
- find things to do together regularly or occasionally, e.g., hiking, playing catch, running, walking, shooting hoops, etc.
NOTE: The final installment-- Key Conversations Part 3-- was published after this post and can be found here.