Key Conversation #5: Finances and family
Many families and cultures do not routinely discuss money matters with their children, so proceed at your own pace, but do NOT ignore this section of conversations. Our children will face these issues soon enough, and open conversation is better than burying our head in the sand and hoping they’ll figure things out on their own.
(1) Discuss potential costs of college
- Review the sticker price and note various cost categories (tuition, room and board, fees, etc.) of a state university, private college (in state), community college, and a college out of state
- Don’t yet dismiss any option before financial need and aid are determined, just be open about the issue of covering costs
(2) Discuss costs relative to your family situation
- At a level you are comfortable with, discuss the current family budget
- Based on the number of kids in your family and birth order-- in other words is your teen going through the college admissions process the oldest in the family, will there be siblings in college at the same time, or are there other important financial considerations in your family-- how college costs will impact that budget
(3) Discuss expectations on how to pay for college
What can your teen expect in terms of parent financial contribution year-to-year, taking into consideration the factors discussed in (2)?
What is your teen expected to contribute financially towards their college education through scholarships, work-study, outside work, or other means?
(4) Discuss debt expectation or goal
Particularly important to discuss debt in concert with college major and future career options
Describe a simplified example of the potential consequences of needing to pay back $10,000 vs. $50,000 vs. $80,000 of overall debt using examples of earning $35,000/yr, $50,000/yr, or $80,000/yr after graduation, with the caveat that the latter earning example is unlikely without an advanced degree
Key Conversation #6: Decision-making process
(1) To the extent possible view all decisions as choosing the best of good options or win-wins vs. focusing on the negatives or on what might be lost
(2) Define and weigh pros and cons, as well as emotional vs. objective measures
(3) Always help your teen develop and maintain a Plan B (and C and D, etc.) at each stage of the process
(4) Everyone has a set-point for risk-taking; help your teen figure out his or hers as you discuss and evaluate the risks when making decisions during the college admissions process, even smaller choices
(5) All of the suggestions above can be practiced and discussed relative to every-day decisions, not just those related to the college admissions process
Consistent conversations with your teen are one of the three pillars of a successful college admissions outcome, along with a robust search process and covering the costs. By using these suggestions and filling in details relevant to your teen and family you will better ensure a great outcome, not just for your teen’s college years, but well beyond.